We all try to deny it, but the truth is, we all want to be liked by others. Being a likeable person makes life a lot easier. You’re more likely to build strong relationships with others, have great friendships, and be able to work with others to get the things that you want in life.
While there isn’t a person on this planet who will be everybody’s cup of tea, there are a few ways to be liked by the majority of your peers.
While you should never sacrifice your happiness or well being to please others, if you follow these fifteen tips, they will help grow you into becoming a generally likable human being.
15 Tips To Be Liked By Everybody
USE PEOPLES NAMES
Use people’s names when you’re speaking to them. Use their name when you say hello, and when asking questions etc. The fact that you even remembered a person’s name immediately shows them you were paying attention. The tone and facial expressions that you use when saying their name, will show them subconsciously how you really feel about them. So learn to use these underlying body language signals to win people over.
Our own name is single-handedly the most triggering word there is out there, so if you say a person’s name a lot when you speak to them, you make them feel important and they are much more likely to pay attention to what it is you’re saying.
LISTEN TO YOUR PEERS
Listening to people when they speak to you, and paying attention to what they are saying can do wonders when it comes to getting people to like you. People love to talk about themselves, so if they think that you are listening to what they are telling you then it’s sure to get you in their good books.
Paying attention to what others have to say can also give you the chance to find common interests and topics of conversation for your next encounter. If you meet somebody for the first time and they told you that they were going fishing that weekend, the next time you run into one another, you instantly have something to talk about and you can ask them how the fishing trip went.
As you practice this with everybody in your life, it will become your most powerful tool in making friends and connections with people. Paying attention to what others have to say, and following up on those topics the next time you meet shows that person that you listened to them and thought that what they had to say was interesting.
DON’T TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY
We live in a world with a lot of issues: politics, crime, war, disease, climate change and so much more. While these issues are massively important and need to be discussed, there is a time and a place. We can all think of somebody who never wants to talk about anything other than the news and current affairs and most of us will agree that their company can be exhausting.
I am by no means saying that we should be turning a blind eye to all the pressing issues in the world because, at the end of the day, the only way we will make any progress in solving these is by facing it and talking about the issue. However, try not to take life so seriously all the time.
Generally speaking, when you are around others try to keep the serious talk at a minimum. There is nothing shallow about keeping the conversation centred at more light hearted topics, and doing so will make people want to spend more time around you as you company will leave them feeling uplifted and cheerful inside, rather than heavy-hearted.
Find ways to genuinely compliment the people around you, and try to look for things more meaningful than, “nice shoes,” or “your makeup looks pretty.”
While these sorts of compliments can be nice to hear sometimes, they can come across insincere if used too often and will not be remembered as deeply as if you were to compliment a person on what’s on the inside or what a great job they have done working on a particular project.
Find ways to flatter a person in terms of their work or personal lives. Maybe mention that work they have done has made a difference to people or the way they’ve raised their kids so well mannered is inspiring.
PRACTICE EXCELLENT HYGIENE
You can probably think of an example of somebody you know who always smells great, and because of this you automatically like being around them. As well as ensuring that you shower at least once a day, and maintain excellent dental hygiene, look for your ‘signature scent’.
A slight hint of perfume or cologne when you approach people will make people enjoy being in your company. If you stick to the same scent long term, then people will grow to associate that smell with you and will likely become very fond of that fragrance. Choose something that has a clear element such as vanilla, orange or jasmine, and then every time people smell that ingredient, they will think of you.
Non-verbal mimicking of others can be an excellent tool in getting people to like you and being more persuasive. We are generally drawn to people that we have things in common with, therefore if a person mimics our behaviour or body language, then we are likely to subconsciously grow to like them.
There are many ways that you can mirror you peers non-verbal behaviours such as your gestures, pitch and tone of voice, accent, posture, distance and eye contact.
However, this takes a little bit of practice as the trick in getting this to work for you is making everything you do look subconscious. If it’s obvious that you are trying to mimic the person you are with, then you are going to come across as a phoney and will end up repelling people.
So just don’t try too hard. Make small changes to your behaviour at first and the slower and more often you practice, the better you will get.
DON’T MAKE IT ALL ABOUT YOU
We’ve all experienced those people who can’t get enough of the sound of their own voice. You bump into them in public, and before you have even had the chance to ask, they are telling you all about their latest business adventures, what they got up to at the weekend and all the details of the holiday they are going on in a few weeks.
You may have been interested to hear all of that news, had you actually had the chance to ask them. However, the fact that they just launched at you talking about nothing other than themselves and how great their life is, probably makes you want to get away from them as quickly as possible.
So don’t make the same mistake. When you meet people, use your voice to ask them about their life, and ask questions accordingly. Only talk about your own business if they ask, and even if they do, make them feel involved in the conversation. Instead of just saying, “my wife and I went on a lovely trip to Paris last week,” instead you could go with “we went to Paris last week, I know you were thinking of visiting. If you do, there is this wonderful restaurant I think that you and your family would love.”
Take an interest in the lives, hobbies and work of others around you. Ask questions and seek advice and ideas from others. People who only think about themselves, miss the opportunity to learn from those around them because they are too wrapped up in their own self-importance.
So speak to people, and get to know about their life and experiences. Each time you see a person, ask them about something they mentioned from your last encounter. Not only will this make them feel important as you remembered what they had to say, but this can be one of the best ways to learn as you go through life.
No matter what area you think you might be an expert in, there will always be somebody who knows more than you. So stop thinking of yourself and pay attention to your peers to give yourself the best chance to grow through life and gain wisdom in a whole range of topics.
SHOW GOOD MANNERS
A simple “please” and “thank-you” can go such a long way. Practice good manners no matter what. Hold doors open for people, say please and thank you, and offer a helping hand to anybody you see that needs it.
Manners cost nothing, and they show people what’s on the inside of who you are. Everybody remembers a person’s manners, so make people think of you with a positive feeling rather than remember you as the a**hole that let the door hit them in the face.
“Manners are nothing more than thinking about somebody else”Letitia Baldrige
Make the most of the opportunities you have to engage with the people around you and get involved with things that you wouldn’t usually think of. If somebody asks you to join in a sports games, volunteer at an event or attend a concert that they have an extra ticket for, then make the most of the opportunity.
It’s so easy to always think that you’re too busy, or this activity isn’t really of interest to you, but are you going to know until you try? You might end up being right, but you also might end up discovering a new hobby or talent, that opens doors for you to meet a whole new group of people that you otherwise wouldn’t have had any reason to talk to.
HOLD GOOD EYE CONTACT
Look people in the eye when they are talking to you. By looking at a person in the eyes when you’re having a conversation, your body language is showing them that you are paying attention.
Most people just want to feel important and heard. If you become known as the sort of person who always listens to what others have to say, then people will inevitably enjoy your company.
Don’t overdo it – staring and eye contact aren’t the same thing and you don’t want to come across as a creep. A study by Michigan State University showed that keeping eye contact 50% of the time while speaking and 70% of the time while listening will get you the best results. You shouldn’t hold eye contact for more than four seconds at a time, and when you do look away, try to avoid looking at the ground or darting your eyes too dramatically as this can make you seem nervous. Instead, move your eyes from side to side in between speaking and listening.
A smiley person is uplifting to be around. Even the most miserable and negative people are subconsciously more likely to be drawn to people who are cheerful and lift their spirits. Don’t be somebody who complains about everything and everyone.
People who offer a smile are considered to be more approachable, trustworthy and courteous. If people around you attribute these qualities to you as a person, then, of course you are going to be more likeable as a person.
Smiling also improves your mood, even if you are feeling down to begin with. Smiling, whether you’re faking or not, tricks your brain into releasing dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin – all powerful, natural, mood boosting hormones.
Smiling is also contagious, so if you want to be the person who lights up a whole room, then just make sure you make your entrance with a warm, genuine smile.
HELP OUT OTHERS AND EXPECT NOTHING IN RETURN
Seize every opportunity you can to help others around you. It goes without saying that offering a helping hand is going to make people like you.
But don’t do it for that reason, offer to help without expecting anything in return. Lose the notion that you if you do something for somebody else, then they owe you a favour in return.
You should never have a mindset where you’re looking for ways to twist a situation to benefit you. Just do things for others out of the goodness of your heart, and someday good will find its way back to you in ways that you least expect.
Become known as the person that will always show kindness and offer a helping hand whenever you can, and you are guaranteed to win over the hearts of everybody around you.
CHOOSE ARGUMENTS WISELY
Lastly, pick your battles. Know when to stand up for what you believe and when to just let it go.
This doesn’t mean let people walk over you or don’t stand up for yourself in challenging situations, but often it’s a much better demonstration of strength to just let things go than to get into an argument that’s going to go round in circles.
Arguing is such a major source of stress and can have a seriously negative impact on our state of mind long after the conversation has ended. Getting involved in a futile argument can leave you feeling low for days or even weeks to come.
You need to remember what is important in life. If you think back to five years ago, what was it then that seemed like the biggest issue you had ever faced? I bet it seems silly now that you have moved on and grown from it?
Truth is, most arguments and disagreements that we have with the people in our lives have very little importance in the scheme of things, however, they can be the biggest source of stress and upset at the time. We all have limited time on earth, and every argument takes up time and energy in our life.
So pick your battles wisely and know when to let things slide. Having as few arguments with other people as possible will not only improve your relationships with those in your life but will also keep you feeling cheerful, making your company more enjoyable to others.
To Finish Off…
I hope that you enjoyed this read and that you can take away some of these points to improve your relationships with others around you. If you have any tips to be liked by your peers then please leave a comment below, I would love to hear what my readers have to say.