Relationships are always complicated. You’re always going to have disagreements with the people in your life, and there will be times where you upset each other and don’t speak for a while.
However, there is a big difference between having natural arguments, and having an unhealthy, damaging relationship with somebody which is taking a toll on your health and wellbeing.
A toxic relationship is typically any type of relationship where the person:
- lies to you
- manipulates you into doing things you don’t want to do
- makes you feel badly about yourself,
- is physically or verbally abusive
- steals from you
- try’s to control or dominate you
- is overly possessive
- overly distant
- uses you for their benefit
- does anything else that makes you feel upset or uncomfortable on a regular basis
We’ve all had experience in these types of relationships, even if you don’t realise it yet. Having had experience with a number of toxic people in my own life, I have gained experience on how to successfully cut those people out of my life.
Whilst it’s never easy to let go of somebody in your life, I have put together a few tips that should help you cut toxic people out of your life successfully, and should help you happily move forward with your life once you’ve done so.
6 Tips To Cut Out Toxic People From Your Life
REMEMBER ITS OKAY TO SAY NO
You don’t owe anybody a thing. If somebody is making you feel pressured to do something you don’t want to do, then it’s okay to say no.
However it may manifest itself in your situation, manipulative behavior by a toxic person in your life is one of the most common components that makes that relationship toxic in the first place.
It’s your life, and you’re free to make your own decisions. If somebody is pressurizing you for help, money or trying to convince you to do something that you don’t want to do which could cause a negative impact on your own life or wellbeing, then put your foot down.
Tell this person that their behavior is the reason that you’ve decided to cut them off.
Be totally honest and tell them exactly what has brought you to this point. Accept that they will probably try to make excuses, or talk their way out of whatever it is, but be firm.
Being honest with them will help you to feel like you did everything in your power to resolve things, whilst also letting them know the error of their ways.
Whilst it probably won’t make a difference, if this persons does have any chance of redeeming themselves in the future, then you telling them honestly what they did wrong will give them a starting point on what to work on.
DON’T DO IT SLOWLY
Don’t try to phase the person out gradually. Cancelling on plans and avoiding texts and phone calls to try and let them down easy, will just prolong the inevitable and you’ll have the mental strain of thinking about how to finally cut the ties once and for all.
Just do it and get it over with.
TREAT IT LIKE A BREAKUP
Treat the situation like you would a bad breakup with a romantic partner.
Find ways to stop thinking of them altogether to let yourself move on. If you need to, then get rid of any photos, clothes and other reminders of that person and try not to talk about them too much to other people once you’ve cut them out.
Even when the circumstances of a relationship ending are bad, the situation can take a negative toll on you emotionally, so make sure to take care of your mental and physical wellbeing during this time.
FIND OTHER THINGS TO FOCUS ON
The best way to move on when a relationship ends is to focus your attention on other things.
Take up a new hobby, go out and spend time with your friends and family, even enroll in a course or join a social club to meet new people and create new connections. Find ways to look forward rather than back. Before you know it, you’ll see that you did the right thing and all the pain from what happened with that person will start to fade.
REMEMBER THAT THEY WON’T CHANGE
One of the most common reasons that people stay in toxic relationships, is that they think they can change the person if they give them the chance.
Whether it’s a romantic couple, a platonic friendship, toxic family relationship or even a damaging parent child relationship, people always hang onto the hope that they will be able to change that persons ways, and make them a better person in the long haul.
This very very rarely happens though, and no matter how hard you try, things stay the same. This just drains your energy, makes you neglect your own needs and can cause you emotional damage from the disappointment.
Accept that they are who they are, and it’s not your job to fix them.
To Finish Off…
I really hope that this post was helpful, and if you’re in any type of toxic relationship, whether it be with a significant other, long term friend, family member or even a business relationship, that I gave you some tips that you can take on board to finally remove that person from your life for good.
Let me know in the comments below if you have any tips from letting go of toxic people, and feel free to share any stories about this topic, I’d love to hear what you have to say.
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