Confidence is something so many people desperately seek, but most of us struggle with – at least at some point life.
Confidence comes in peaks and troughs, and just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, something in your life can change, or take you by a nasty surprise, and put you right back to where you started.
So how do those naturally confident people do it? The people who can walk into a room full of strangers with their head held high, and win the people over with their charm within just a couple of minutes? What do those people have that works so well for them?
Confidence is earned in a number of ways, upbringing, practice and a little bit of being born with it. However, if you understand the mindset of people who seem to have the most self-confidence, it’ll be much easier for you to fake it next time you’re hoping to make a good impression.
I have put together a list for you, of the fundamental habits of the most naturally confident people, so that you can mimic their behavior and hopefully boost your own self-esteem over time.
9 Surprising Habits Of Confident People
THEY ASK QUESTIONS
The best way to get a conversation going and help people to warm to you, is to ask all the questions. Take an interest in others and listen to what they have to say and people will immediately like you more – and being well liked will obviously boost your confidence.
Don’t be overly intrusive or ask super personal questions, but take an interest in some of the light hearted aspects of other peoples lives. This will get the conversation moving without you having to do too much talking.
THEY STAND UP STRAIGHT
Posture tells a thousand stories. If you walk into a room with your back slumped, your shoulders drooped forward and your arms just flailing by your side, you’re immediately going to give an impression that you’re bored, disinterested and you have a lack of confidence.
If you walk in with your head held high and your shoulders pulled back, people will notice and will assume that you’re a self assured, positive person who has their sh** together 😁
Next time you’re meeting people for the first time, imagine that you’re trying to balance a pile of books on your head and it’ll help you maintain excellent posture.
THEY TAKE PRIDE IN THEIR APPEARANCE
Make an effort with your appearance and it’ll do so many favours to your sense of confidence. When you look your best, you’re going to feel your best and it’ll give you the boost you need to make an excellent first impression.
Take the time to do your makeup, style your hair, choose a cute outfit and do anything else that’ll make you look your best, and it’ll make a world of difference.
THEY REHEARSE THEIR LINES
Prepare answers for commonly asked questions that get asked when you meet new people. You don’t need to write a word for word script (unless you want to), but knowing what you’re going to say before you have to say it can take some pressure away.
Think of a couple of your most badass moments throughout your life. Now, next time you’re meeting a bunch of new people and the dreaded “say your name, where you’re from and something interesting about yourself” comes along, you’ve got a totally brilliant answer ready to go…
My go-to response to that question is “one time, I sang Price Tag live on stage with Jessie J“…. it’s true, I did! 😉
THEY OVERSELL THEMSELVES
Pretend that you know exactly what you’re talking about, even if you don’t – people can rarely tell the difference.
Use your common sense, don’t try to make out you’re an expert in neurosurgery if you’re still in high-school, but it’s not a bad thing to oversell yourself a little bit sometimes.
A good example is, if somebody asks you a question about your job, make it sound a little teeny bit more interesting than it really is. If you work in telesales for a mobile phone support company, fluff it up a little and say that you sell high-value business phone contracts to large, high spend companies.
THEY USE THE RIGHT LANGUAGE
Try to stop using words like ‘just’, ‘sorry’, ‘like’, ‘urm’, ‘really’… it stops you seeming sure of yourself.
One of the biggest indicators of confidence, is self assurance and conviction in the things that you say. So avoid hesitation and breaking up your sentences with pauses, urms, and erms.
THEY HOLD EYE CONTACT
Look people in the eye when you’re having a conversation.
Looking down at the ground, and your hands, or off in the distance makes you seem distant and as though you’re not interested in what the person is saying to you. If you’re doing the talking and you’re not making eye contact, it gives the impression that you’re being dishonest or that you don’t believe in what you’re saying.
You don’t need to continuously stare into the eyes of the person you’re talking to without blinking – that’s just creepy.
Keeping eye contact 50% of the time while speaking and 70% of the time while listening will get you the best results. You shouldn’t hold eye contact for more than four seconds at a time, and when you do look away, try to avoid looking at the ground or darting your eyes too dramatically as this can make you seem nervous. Instead, move your eyes from side to side in between speaking and listening.
THEY DON’T FIDGET
Fidgeting with your clothing, shuffling your feet, playing with your fingers and twiddling your hair is both annoying and off putting to other people.
If you’re constantly fidgeting, it makes it very difficult for people to be able to concentrate on what you’re saying, and they’ll spend more time trying to keep up with watching what you’re doing that listening to you.
Stay still, and if you need a little help to break the habit of fidgeting, then here’s a couple of things that can help
- clasp your hands when you’re listening
- use your hands for expression when you’re talking
- breathe deeper and count your inhales and exhales (although this can take your focus away from listening to people)
- exercise regularly to release nervous energy
- cut down on caffeine and sugar
THEY ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS
If somebody gives you a compliment, then accept it with grace.
It can be so easy to deflect compliments out of embarrassment, or not wanting to seem big headed. But there is nothing conceited about accepting a compliment with a polite “thank-you” and nobody is going to think you’re full of yourself for doing so.
So if somebody tells you that they like your outfit, never respond with “oh it’s only cheap from Primark”… this actually makes you seem like you don’t like your outfit, because if you did, then you’d just have said “thank-you” and moved on.
So whether you agree with the compliment or not, never try to pass it off or downplay it, just politely accept it and you’ll come across like a totally confident badass!
To Finish Off…
I really hope that you enjoyed this post, and if you struggle with confidence and self esteem, then you’ll be able to use some of these tips to improve the way you carry yourself in public in future.
Self-esteem and confidence is not something that comes naturally to most people. It takes a lot of practice, and self-reflection to become truly comfortable with who you are. So practice, and fake it until you make it and over time, you will become more self assured.
Let me know which of these tips you found the most helpful, and if you have any of your own ideas for ways that you can boost or fake confidence, then let me know in the comments below.
Be sure to check back here soon, as I post brand new fashion, lifestyle and personal growth and wellness tips on The Angelina Archives every single week!